Realizing what I almost lost made me realize how truly in love with my husband I am. I was really taking him for granted because I never thought he would ever leave me. It rocked my world when he said he wanted to break up our family. I realized what was important and that I would do almost anything to keep him. He has made me so angry many times, but most of it came from fear that he wasn't in love with me anymore. I think I have won his heart back, but he still isn't sure he wants to settle down with me. He is wanting his freedom. All I can do is give it to him and hope he always comes home. I have to set him free.
Today, I went to see my counselor. She seems genuinely interested in my life. I feel like explaining my life and all the connections we have is really complicated. I drew this chart of all the people involved in our lives on daily basis. Besides family, my friends and main support system are Dana & Todd, Christine, Hershey & Rob, Anne & Jeff, Anna & James, Kay, and Devin. Scott's friends and main support system are Alex and Dave. Jason, Justin, and John are sort of mutual friends for both of us. I'm sure my counselor is confused, but I tried to show her pictures of everyone in my phone so she gets an idea.
Scott and I have been getting along pretty well since Sunday and are wearing our wedding rings again. I hope we can make it. I guess I need to go to sleep. I am totally rambling and I have to get up early to drive to Dayton for work tomorrow.
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