I took a huge step in healing my relationship with my mother today. I told her that the reason our relationship has always been strained is that I believed everything my dad said about her not really loving me or being able to handle me. I felt abandoned as a lost cause because she said I was just like my dad, unfeeling and uncaring. Actually, I didn't trust my mother really loved me. I knew she cared, but have always felt like she loves Shanna and Maegan more. She started crying and said she loves me very much and I am her firstborn. I wasn't trying to make her cry. I wanted her to see that my eyes are open now.
I also talked with Scott today about the problem he has. He started rubbing my leg and I asked him to stop. I told him I am no longer going to allow him to manipulate me. I need to get away from him. I told him everything I saw in him from lack of empathy to needs for constant attention. I didn't call it NPD, but I described to him very accurately what he was doing that fits the description. I told him I'm not trying to being him down, but trying to help him. He did say a few things to flip it around as me being in the wrong, but he also listened. Maybe it is the fact that I told him I am leaving him soon that got his attention. I don't know that he will make any real effort to change or if he even can. I seriously doubt he will admit to this being a serious flaw he needs to correct.
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