Monday, August 5, 2013

How I'm Going to Save My Marriage

On Friday, Scott admitted to not being in love with me anymore and his desire for the single life.  I was relieved at first that he was at least being honest with me.  That night, I completely broke down.  I realized that I can't just let this happen.  When I told my ex I was no longer in love.  He let me go.  Had he actually fought for me, I wouldn't have left.  Instead, he pretended he didn't really care.  Well, I am not giving Scott up that easily.

I begged him to tell me what I did that caused him to stop being in love with me.  He admitted that part of it wasn't me at all.  He sees his friends being single and having fun and he wants that.  However, there are some things he doesn't like about me.  He says he feels like he doesn't have any privacy because I post our problems on Facebook, I am too argumentative, and I don't let him make many decisions.  

These are things I can change.  I deleted my FB account.  I am trying really hard not to argue and I am letting him make as many decisions a possible.  It is a work in progress.  It takes a lot of effort to break old habits.  In addition, I am tempting him with sex (which I have been withholding since I have been so angry).  So far, it seems to be making an impact.  

I have no long term promises from him, but I am asking him to take things with me day by day.  As long as he loves me today, I am happy.  I hope to one day get to wear my wedding ring again, but I will wait for him to want that even if it takes a lot of time.  

The only thing that is worrying me now is that his mom knows what is going on.  I'm afraid he will get angry when he finds out I told her.  I asked for her help in getting his dad to talk to him.  He has so many people pushing him to leave me.  His friends want him to be single and party with them.  I needed to get help from someone he respects that actually supports marriage and staying together.  I didn't know who else to call.  I hope something his dad says is helpful and he doesn't get too angry at me for involving them.

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